


Warmth

by creeptastically



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Emotional Growth, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fix-It, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Josh Lives, Mental Health Issues, Only Jossam if you squint, Post-Canon, The crashley is a secondary pairing and it’s the only one i’ve got planned for now, Wendigo Josh Washington, casually drugging your friend!, for his own good tho!, for now, i’m waffling on if i’ll do a third, to a point obviously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-05-16 05:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14805048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creeptastically/pseuds/creeptastically
Summary: It starts when Chris and Sam bring Josh down from the mountain.





	1. Chapter 1

_Making waves in pitch black sand_  
_Feel the salt dance on my hands_  
_Raw and charcoal colored thighs_  
_Feel so cold and my skin_  
_Feels so paper-thin_

_\- Crystals by Of Monsters and Men_

* * *

 

“You’re warm,” Josh sighs. His mouth, stretched open, and teeth deformed into needles, mangle the words. They scratch open Sam’s neck when he nuzzles into her shoulder. She throws Chris a sidelong glance, but he just shrugs in response.

“Think about how warm you’ll be when we get back to civilization,” she tells him, trying to be diplomatic. Josh huffs a laugh, and tightens the arm he has around her waist. It hurts more than it should. How many times has Josh squeezed her close, and it’s never bothered her, but his limbs are different now. His familiar stocky frame is stretched, and even though he looks thin, she’s seen his new arms crack bones in half like twigs.

From far off a shriek rattles the air and Josh startles in response. Sam takes a deep breath to steady herself. Beside her, Chris clutches the flamethrower closer. The snowmobile that they had taken up had run out of gas halfway through their journey down and now dusk is fast approaching.

“Think we’re far enough from the blast zone?” Chris asks.

“I don’t think we’ll be far enough even when we’re back in California on a beach next to the city,” Sam says drily.

“That’s fair,” Chris allows.

“Mmm, the beach, do you know how good you look in a swimsuit, Sammy-Bird?” Josh gurgles. Sam can feel his mouth move against her neck, his tongue lazily licking at the shallow wounds.

“Come on, bro, we all know how much you drool over Sam,” Chris teases. Josh laughs again, and sways enough that Sam almost stumbles. But that doesn’t bother her as much as his response does.

“How can I not, she’s good enough to **eat**.” His voice clicks into a deeper baritone, a voice that isn’t his and Sam yelps when he bites her. She shoves him off and he collapses into the snow, giggling with a girl’s stolen laugh.

“Chris!” She shouts, glaring at him. He was always encouraging Josh’s worst tendencies.

“Sorry! Josh, you can’t just bite people!” Chris yells. Josh laughs some more, running his tongue over his teeth. Sam pulls her bag around and digs for the sedatives they brought. She swipes at the bite her neck. The motion makes her neck throb but it accomplishes what she wanted it to. She kneels down next Josh’s head, and holds the pills out, blood smeared all over her palm the them.

“Come on Josh, I’ve got something for you,” she cooes. She wishes she could think of him like a wounded animal but her her heart lurches when his sleepy eyes light up.

“No biting,” Chris repeats, voice stern. Sam takes a moment to reflect how irritating it is that this isn’t the grossest thing that’s ever happened to her when Josh laps the pills from her hand like a dog.

“There you go big guy,” she reassures him. They shuffle around as Chris helps her get him off the ground. They set him back up on the not bleeding side and as soon as Chris lets him go, Josh sags against her with a sigh.

“So warm,” he mumbles, “and safe.” Sam touches at the wound on her neck with her free hand. She’s never felt colder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from a prompt on tumblr!  
> It got way sadder than I wanted it to, but sometimes it is what it is!  
> If you'd like more in this general universe or just want to consume more content about Josh surviving then let me know! I have some ideas that I could expand on if you want me to! So subscribe to the work and tell me and we'll see!!!!! 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading <3


	2. Chapter 2

_Hungry for the kill_  
 _But this hunger it isn't you_  
 _It isn't you_  
 _It isn't_  
  
 _\- Hunger by Of Monsters and Men_  

* * *

 

Sam wakes up with a start, chest heaving and heart racing. Chris stands over her but he doesn’t look worried or scared, so she shoves down her panic.

“Hey.”

“It’s dawn, so we should probably head out,” he tells her. She nods, and looks down at Josh. He’s wrapped around her, his arms effectively trapping her on the ground. Chris follows her gaze and snorts.

“Do you want some help with sleeping beauty?” he asks.

“I think I can handle him,” she replies.

Josh looks tired. He was more restless when it wasn’t her he was cuddled with, but Chris had to sleep too so they had only spent half the night together. Still, he had thrashed, and needed more sedatives to stay down completely during her watch.

“Come on big guy, another day another dollar,” Sam sings, poking at Josh’s side. Chris hangs back, watching her. She doesn’t want to treat Josh with kid gloves, but she’s also still a little scared he’ll snap at her. She has zero desire to join Mike’s exclusive club for people who have lost fingers on blackwood mountain.

“It’s too bright,” Josh grumbles.

“It’s called the sun dipshit, which means it’s time to wake up,” Sam inists. She struggles in his arms, but winces when Josh tightens his hold on her.

“The sun is a douchbag,” Josh replies. Sam frowns and turns to Chris.

“Okay, maybe I do need your help,” she admits, “this was easier when he was still ticklish.” Chris smirks.

“Are you hungry?” he asks. Josh’s eyes snap open so fast it gives her goosebumps.

“I’m starving,” he answers, and the voice he uses scratches and cracks in a way his hasn’t in years. Sam runs her hand down his side, hoping to keep him calm. Chris grins, standing up.

“I’ll be right back! I’ve got something special and you’re gonna love me for it.” Josh nods in response, desperation in his eyes. Chris leaves the flamethrower when he goes dashing off into the woods. It had been quiet, any shriek far enough away it could have been a large bird, but she still holds her breath the whole time he’s gone.

In less then a minute he comes back in sight, holding a dead squirrel by the tail. Josh takes a long sniff of the air, and smiles. Sam can’t help but think about how much it looks like a snarl.

“For me?” He asks, his voice a child’s again, tone desperate.

“Only if you promise to let go of Sam,” Chris says. Josh nods, and slowly uncurls himself.

His movement is still sluggish. It’s the wrong time of day, and they’ve still got him floating high as kite. Still, it’s tense when he rips the animal from Chris’s outstretched hand and promptly bites it in half. Sam wills herself not to vomit, as blood spills down his chin, dripping from the side of his warped mouth.

“Where did you get that?” She whispers to Chris.

“I set some traps last night. It’s easier to stay awake if I keep moving.”

“Look at you, putting that boy scout training to work.” He shrugs, looking a little sheepish. His eyes are trained on Josh and she see them widen when he eats the rest of the squirrel with a decisive crunch.

“I put the rest of the sedatives in that,” he tells her before moving forward, “Alright, let's see if we can make you marginally less disgusting, ok bro?”

Sam doesn’t look back at them until she’s sure she can’t see the carnage on Josh’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will I end a chapter with Sam being happy??? Maybe, if you'd like to see more?
> 
> Comments keep me going thanks so much for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

_But I feel it burning_   
_Like when the winter wind_   
_Stops my breathing_

_\- I of the Storm by Of Monsters and Men_

* * *

 

Ashley trips over herself getting out of the truck. She’s just a speck in Sam’s line of sight, but that doesn’t stop her from giggling in relief.

“She’s such a klutz,” she gasps. Josh mimics her chuckles.

“She waited,” Chris says. The look on his face indescribable, but Sam knows what it means to see her there. They had left town quickly, and hadn’t really given any of the others any time to make the decision to come along. Ashley had followed on her own.

Ashley starts climbing up to meet them. Chris looks anxiously between Sam and Josh, and her approaching figure. Sam rolls her eyes with a sigh.

“Calm down, lover boy, we’ll meet up in the middle,” she says. He goes red and Josh giggles some more in Sam’s voice.

“You gotta chill, cochise, let a girl like that come to you, all eager and-“

“Josh!” Sam interrupts, but she’s laughing. Chris sputters. The lighter mood makes the downward trek a little more bearable and the knot in Sam’s chest loosens just a little.

It takes an half an hour for them to get down and for Ashley to make her way up, but soon enough they can hear her breathless shouts.

“Chris! Sam! Is that Josh? Oh, Chris, I thought you guys had died! I thought for sure you wouldn’t be coming back! I can’t believe that’s really Josh, he…” and Sam can almost feel Ashley’s heart stop. She falters, trips and falls right to her knees.

“Ash!” Chris gasps, and jogs forward. Sam keeps their former pace. Josh is still mostly dead weight, even with the drugs wearing off. He can’t stand straight, and needs coaxed into putting one foot in front of the other.

Chris helps Ashley up and crushes her to his chest. It almost hurts to watch how desperately she clings to him, and how Chris tries to muffle his sobs into her hair.

“I knew I could get them together,” Josh rasps against her ear. Sam shakes her head. She knows that in the end, they had gotten themselves together, but there’s no use arguing about it right now.

“Good memory, big guy,” she says instead. He huffs a laugh.

“I have an excellent memory, I even remember stuff that never happened,” he says. He sounds tired again, more somber than she’s ever heard him.

Ashley and Chris finally let go of each other, and turn to face them. She can see the fear and panic etched on Ash’s face and the knot from before is ten times worse.

Sam’s tired too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ASHLEY!!!!
> 
> I’ve got the next couple chapters written already! the next one is something different and I finally introduce the rest of the squad into the story. 
> 
> Um, I really love comments, so let me know how you feel about it and stuff! Thanks so much for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

_Life's a game but it's not fair_  
_I break the rules so I don't care_

_-Run This Town by Rihanna_

* * *

 

“They went back to the mountain,” Mike says.

They’re all lounging inside Matt and Mike’s room in their quad dorm. Two guys from the football team share the other and are currently taking advantage of the small common area by playing a video game. Each time they shout Jess flinches and Mike tenses but nobody tells them to be quiet.

Emily snorts, picking at her nails. It’s a nervous habit, and pretty much the main reason she pays to get them professionally done once every week and a half.

“By themselves?” Matt asks.

“No Matt, they took Bob with them,” Emily spits. This is so infuriating. Ashley looks like she might be sick and Jess is on the verge of having a panic attack. 

“Em,” he says, hurt evident in his voice. Emily softens almost immediately. There weren’t many people she didn’t absolutely despise right now, and he was the only one without a death wish.

“Sorry,” she says, and turns back to Mike, “so what do you want us to do about the doomed heroes?”

“I don’t think we can do anything, they don’t have their phones,” he says, looking a little sheepish.

“And how do you know that?” Emily asks at the same time Ashley gasps “What do you mean Chris left his phone?”

“Sam and I have been talking,” Mike admits, sounding defensive. Emily snorts again and Jess grabs at Matt’s jacket. She doesn’t know why either of them are surprised by this turn of events. In fact, Emily isn’t surprised so much as disappointed. It’s so obvious that Sam is still stuck so far up Josh’s ass that she can’t possibly be receptive to Mike’s lame attempts of playing hero.

“But she’s dropped off the map, and so I went snooping,” Mike soldiers on. 

“You’re such a fucking stalker, Micheal, she’s just not the into you,” Emily says, tone scathing. Ashley gives her a withering look. Jess appears to be on the verge of tears, and she wilts into Matt’s side.

“Em let him finish,” Matt tells her, sounding disapproving. She frowns but stays quiet when he nods at Mike to continue.

“Her Mom hasn’t seen her in a couple days, but she says that’s pretty common for her, and that usually she’s at the Washington’s.”

“Why would she be there if Josh is…” Ashley trails off.

“Dead.” Emily finishes, purposefully ignoring Matt’s glare. She’s trying but she can only hold her own tongue for so long. 

“Yeah,” Ashley agrees reluctantly.

“I don’t know, but she wasn’t there either. But Melinda did give me this.” He produces Sam’s phone, with its eco friendly case that has a forest pictured on it. 

“And Chris hasn’t been answering either,” Ashley confirms.

“And we all know the Hartley’s aren’t the most observant parents,” Mike says. That’s a bit of an understatement. Emily is sure that as long as he passed his classes, Chris’s parents would be content to act like they didn’t have a son at all. 

“So, what do we do?” Jess asks, voice a whispers. Mike shrugs.

“I’m not sure, I just thought you guys should know.”

Ashley is quiet, biting her lip and tugging at her hair. Matt looks deep in thought, while Jess looks ready to bolt.

“Well if moron one and moron two want to risk their lives for a corpse, who are we to stop them?” Emily challenges, meeting Mike’s eyes. 

And for once, he doesn’t have anything to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE EMILY POV!   
> I know that like it’s Jay Z’s song, but it’s Rihanna’s verse so.... 
> 
> I have on more Em chapter written and it will be ch 6. I want most of this as Sam but if you’d like to see something from someone else just lmk! 
> 
> Comments keep me going! I’ve got a super busy schedule so I def wanna know if it’s worth my time to write this consistently.
> 
> As always though, thanks for reading<3<3<3


	5. Chapter 5

_ Voices disappear when you are speaking, in somber tunes  
I will be the wolf and when you're starving, you'll need it too _

_ -Hunger by Of Monsters and Men _

* * *

 

Sam crams in beside Josh in the back of Ashley’s old truck.

Josh is getting jittery. The more the sedatives wear off the more animalistic he seems. His head twitches, and his hands are starting to shake. She catches him clenching his teeth together. It’s putting her on edge. 

Chris is busy loading the flamethrower into the truck bed outside. Ashley is sitting in the driver’s seat, looking just as tense as Sam feels. She’s fiddling with the radio, babbling nervously.

“God you guys must be freezing, I don’t think those pants even fit Josh anymore.” Sam sees her eyes flicker in the rearview mirror before she goes back to sorting through her stack of cds. “We could listen to the newest Florence and the Machine album, but no Josh thinks Florence whines. Chris likes Muse but I don’t think that’s the right sound. Umm…”

“We could always try-“

“Sam, if you try and get me to listen to the Hozier album again I’m going to seriously lose it!”

“Ok, ok,” Sam huffs.

“Take me to church!” Josh croons, in a perfect imitation of the artist in question. He lays himself across Sam’s lap, caressing her face. Ashley visibly flinches.

“I can’t wait to get away from all of this snow,” Chris complains, slamming the door shut. Josh and Ashley both jump, but Chris ignores it. “We still haven’t picked the music?” 

“There have been some disagreements,” Sam says diplomatically. 

“Nothing seems appropriate!” Ashley says. She sounds almost hysterical. Josh gnashes his teeth again.

“You have Of Monsters and Men, don’t you?” Chris asks. He picks the two cds out easily, while Ashley takes a couple of deep breaths. 

“It’s one of the few bands we agree on,” she says, eyes flickering back to Josh again. He smiles, showing off his jagged teeth.

“Through the woods we ran, deep into the mountain sound,” he sings, voice alternating between the two singers. Sam shivers, but Chris just nods.

“He hasn’t heard the new one yet,” he says and puts it in _.  _ With that they’re finally off.

It’s a four hour drive to the border. They listen to the album twice, which is when Josh starts to sing along. This unnerves Ashley enough that her grip on the wheel becomes white knuckled. Chris changes it to Florence and the Machine despite Josh’s babbling protests.

Josh gets more lucid the longer he’s in the car. Sam thinks that’s a relative term though. He isn’t talking much, but everything he does say is stream of conscience. Josh had never had a good filter before and between the drugs and the transformation, it’s gotten even worse.

“Ash, could you please stop your heart it’s driving me crazy,” Josh asks, sounding casual. But Sam sees the way his eyes are squeezed shut and how his claws are buried in his arms. Ashley squeaks, hands tightening on the wheel again.

“Excuse me?”

“Your heart, make it stop,” he repeats.

“Josh,” Chris warns.

“I think he’s hungry,” Sam suggests. At the word ‘hungry’, Josh lets out a loud groan, nails digging deeper. 

“There’s an exit up ahead,” Ashley says, swallowing visibly. 

“And hopefully a grocery store,” Chris says.

“With a meat section,” Sam adds. Josh starts to claw at his ears.

“Please,” he begs. For food or for his previous request, Sam isn’t sure.

“Hey, keep it together, Washington, we’ll take care of you,” she tells him. She puts her hands over his, trying to coax them away from his face.

With shaky hands, Ashley turns at the next exit. She pulls into the first grocery store they see, but leaves the car running. It’s decided that she’s going in alone because she the only one who doesn’t look like she’s been off murdering people in the backwoods. Sam agrees simply because she wasn’t ready to be alone with Josh and it looks like Ashley could use the space.

“If he gets too antsy, you have to leave me here,” Ashley says.

“Ash,” Chris protests.

“It’s a store, Chris, not a shady back alley,” Sam tells him. There’s a tense moment where a family passes by the truck, talking loudly, and Josh whimpers. Ashley looks even more determined when she starts talking again.

“And unlike you two, I brought my phone when I left the country, so I’ll be fine. Now cough up your cash.” She holds her hand out expectantly. Sam forks over a fistful of money.

“Anything raw, but not frozen,” she says.

“And get some nightquil,” Chris adds.

“Or any over the counter sleep aid. You’re probably gonna want a towel, because he’s a mess. Oh and gloves, Chris do you still have your knife?” Sam turns to him. 

“Yeah, it’s right here. Also grab some extra plastic bags because we’re not kidding it’s super gross.” He makes a face and Sam’s glad she looked away when he fed him that squirrel. 

“And we’ll have to dump everything before we reach the border anyways. Oh get some wipes, and maybe febreeze? I’m sure it smells in here already...”

“Guys ok, I get it,” Ashley breaks in, “Raw meat, a bunch of cleaning supplies, and drugs.”

“And bags!” Chris says. Ashley rolls her eyes, even as she bites her lip. Sam can tell she’s nervous because she keeps shooting glances at the other people in the parking lot. 

“And bags, I’ve got it. Just keep the doors locked and promise me you’ll leave if he starts lunging.” Ashley stares at Chris but he looks hesitant. 

“We’ll leave,” Sam promises and with that Ashley heads into the store. 

Josh whimpers, eyes squeezed shut, and his claws digging into the seat. She wraps her hand around his arm, trying to ease him up. She  starts counting the seconds it takes for to Ashley to get back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll probably quote this same song like sixty more times because it is the sam/wendijosh song, hands down.   
> I’m like three chapters ahead and I’m trying desperately to get this plot rolling and we’re getting there but i have so many people to introduce and stuff to set up so. Emily is back next chapter, so something to look forward too!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading<3 Please comment if you like something, or there is a character you want to hear from!


	6. Chapter 6

_I pitch with a grenade _   
_ Swing away if you're feeling brave _   
_ There's so much power in my name _

_ -Wait Your Turn by Rihanna _

* * *

 

Emily slams her hand down on the table. Mike doesn’t just jolt in surprise, he screams and shoves the chair back so hard he hits the ground with a loud crack. She rolls her eyes.

“Oh my god, Mike do you have some residual PTSD,” she asks, tone mocking. Mike just looks at her, his mouth hanging open.

“If you can’t behave, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” the librarian behind the desk tells them. Emily sniffs, but promptly turns around and walks out. She knows Mike won’t be that far behind.

“Hey, Em, wait up!” She hasn’t even made it half a block down the street.

Mike is an ass with a hero complex. It’s why he ran after Jess, why he tried to shoot her in the basement, why he volunteered to get Josh from mines and it’s why he’s harassing Sam now. It’s exactly why she goaded him into chasing after her. 

“What the fuck was that about? Are you trying to get me banned from the library? You don’t even go here!”

“Ashley went after them, that fucking bitch,” she tells him. She turns her glare on him, because this is his fault after all. 

“What do you mean she went after them?” He asks.

“God Micheal, keep up. I mean she couldn’t let her precious Chris get hurt, so she up and went back to the mountain. I’m sure she’s crossed the border by now, she’s such a moron.” Emily grits her teeth. Their entire friend group is going to fall a part at the seams if they all keep refusing to tell one another anything. The seven of them are the only ones who know what really happened up there. They’re supposed to be in this together, to heal the trauma that they’ve inflicted on one another.

“When did she leave?” He pulls out his phone, probably shooting off a text to Matt and Jess.

“Almost as soon as we all left your dorm the other day, but that’s not the point.” She starts walking again, heading towards his dorm. If he’s going to get Matt riled up, he’d better be a part of the conversation too.

“What is the point?” He grabs her arm and she resits the urge to slap him.

“We have to go after them,” she tells him. There’s fury written all over her face, masking the layer of sadness and desperation she feels. 

It’s probably a testimate to how well he knows her that Mike doesn’t question any further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen I’m literally dying my dog was bitten and she’ll be ok but it’s really shaken me and I almost forgot to post this today whoops  
> Please please please comment and let me know what you think! Lift my spirits some! Let me know if you want to hear from a different character! It’s Sam again next!  
> Thanks so much for reading <3


	7. Chapter 7

_So I take off my face_   
_Because it reminds me how it all went wrong_   
_And I pull out my tongue_   
_Because it reminds me how it all went wrong_   
_And I cough up my lungs_   
_Because they remind me how it all went wrong_   
_But I leave in my heart_   
_Because I don't want to stay in the dark_

_-Organs by Of Monsters and Men_

* * *

 

Sam is more than a little floored when Emily steps out of the sleek car that’s pulled beside them at the rest stop. It’s the middle of the night and the place is deserted except for the five of them.

From the front seat Ashley looks more than a little guilty.

“I’m sorry, she was worried about you, and you needed new clothes anyways, so I told her where to meet us.” She bites her lip, and avoids meeting Sam’s eyes in the rearview mirror.

“It’s fine,” Sam assures her. Josh sits up, yawning. He’s easier to manage on the over the counter meds they have him on, but he’s no where near as subdued as he was on the tranquilizers.

“What’s going on?” He asks, taking a deep sniff of the air.

“Emily is here,” Sam tells him.

“And Mike,” Chris adds, sounding a little impressed. Sam turns and there he is getting out from the other side. Josh makes a disgruntled noise.

“I’m starving,” he mumbles.

“Well I’ve got some meat left,” Chris says. He and Sam lock eyes.

“I’ll go and prep Em and Mike,” she offers.

“And I’ll feed Joshy-Poo here,” he agrees.

“Thanks mom and dad,” Josh mutters.

“I didn’t know you had a mommy kink, Washington,” Chris teases. Josh squawks, sounding exactly like a bird. Sam rolls her eys but takes the chance to slip out of the door. Ashley does the same up front, and locks the doors behind her.

Sam takes a moment to collect herself before striding around the front of the car to meet them. Emily and Mike are leaning against the hood, looking so much like how they did in high school when they were the it power couple that it nearly takes Sam breath away.

“Hey guys,” she greets them. Ashley is hovering behind her, so Sam figures that relationship still isn’t doing any better even if they’re on speaking terms.

“You look like shit, Giddings,” Emily says smartly, “if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were the monster.”

“Are you ok?” Mike asks, eyes falling on the badly wrapped wound on her neck, before meeting her’s again.

“It’s nothing serious,” she insists. He nods but doesn’t look convinced. Emily sighs, pushing herself off from the car.

“Okay, well since you look like you’ve just buried a body, it’s a good thing I’ve brought some clothes. Lets go get you changed.”

“And I’ll help out Chris and Josh,” Mike says, but it sounds as if he’s asking permission. Sam takes another shaky breath.

“Josh doesn’t look super hot right now,” she tells them. Ashley lets out a nervous laugh behind her.

“No shit, miss know-it-all here said he was a monster,” Emily says harshly.

“It’s only partial. His teeth are, and his one eye…” Sam has to blink back tears, breath stuttering. He was so different, but she couldn’t just leave him there. It would have been cruel, but she wonders if this entire endeavor isn’t cruel as well.

“And his mouth is a bit ripped open,” Ashley picks up. She wraps an arm around Sam’s waist and gives her a squeeze.

“His nails are sharper, and he’s like stretched a bit?” She stutters out, talking around tears that threaten to choke her.

“He’s like grown a foot, and he’s thinner, like he’s lost weight,” Ashley says.

“But that might go away if he eats more consistently,” Sam says, “Um and he’s stranger and faster, you have to be careful.”

“But we’ve been, uh, kind of, drugging him,” Ashley finishes, swallowing a nervous giggle.

Mike looks a bit taken aback but Emily’s face is just grim.

“Okay, well we’ve got a lot to do and I want to take advantage of it being a practically obscene time of night. You two are coming with me.” Emily points a threatening finger at them before going into motion. She grabs a duffel bag from her car, Sam recognizes it as Matt’s old high school one, before she briskly walks into the rest stop. She doesn’t bother waiting to see if they’ll follow.

“Good luck,” Ashley chirps to Mike, and then gently takes Sam’s hand. She lets herself be led into the building willingly, but she can’t shake the image of Mike’s face from her mind. He looks scared, and like he might be sick. She hears Chris greet him, words muffled by the walls, before they drift off.

Emily has dumped the clothes from the bag onto the baby changing station and is meticulously sorting through them.

“It’s probably the cleanest surface in here,” she explains when she catches Sam staring at the pile. Ashley squeezes her hand reassuringly.

“Thanks again Em,” she says.

“Save your breath,” she responds harshly. Sam catches sight of the three of them in the large mirror over the sinks. Emily looks great even in the harsh lightening of the public bathroom. Ashley looks good too, a little washed out, and her hair greasy, but overall like she’s just been through a long hike. It’s her who’s startling. She looks exhausted, and disheveled, like something has chewed her up and spit her out. The bandage on her neck is bulky and stained dark red. She looks like victim of something horrible. She supposes she is in a way. They all are.

“Here,” Emily says, drawing her out of her own head. She’s shoved a pair of clothes at Ashley, who takes them without question. “Go get changed while I help out girl wonder clean up.”

“You don’t have to,” Sam protests. But Emily gives her a look and she shuts her mouth.

Emily has thought of everything it seems like, or Ashley had manage to share more than she said, because also in the duffel are baby wipes, and small first aid kit. Sam sheds her clothes until she just in her leggings and sports bra. She doesn’t want to bother with the stall, and just hopes no other travels wander in.

“We’re leaving the snow pants here,” Emily tells her flatly after she picks them up from the floor. Sam shrugs in response. They’re pretty blood covered and it’s not like she ever plans to go skiing ever again. They end up shoved into the trash can, her winter coat not long after, Emily insisting that she won’t be leaving the car again until they get home anyways.

“Just not the sweats, they aren’t mine,” she tells her. Emily rolls her eyes but Sam sees her stuff them into the duffel anyways.

Sam starts with the wipes. She scrubs at the blood on her hands and neck, while Emily watches from the counter.

“I’m done,” Ashley calls. She joins them by the sinks. Her old clothes are nowhere in sight probably stuffed inside Matt’s duffel along with the sweatpants that aren’t hers.

“Well, at least you’re clean now,” Emily sniffs. It’s not a compliment but at least she’s playing at being civil Sam supposes. She takes out another couple wipes, leaning closer to the mirror to get some of the grime off of her face.

“Do you have any gauze in that first aid kit?” She asks.

“And some alcohol wipes, ibuprofen, gloves, band aids, and medical tape,” Emily rattles off. Sam nods, and then unceremoniously rips off the bulky makeshift bandage from the mountain. She lets sit with the pile of wipes on the sink.

She doesn’t miss Ashley’s gasp of surprise.

The bite looks worse than it feels. It’s shallow but jagged. Chris had just slapped cloth on it and taped it in place, before they kept moving. As a result it’s slightly inflamed, and will probably scar But it’s n0ot bleeding and it won’t require stitches.

“We’ll match,” Emily tells her, tapping the place in her collar where the wendigo had bitten her in February.

“Battle scars,” Sam says lightly. She eyes the alcohol wipes. She knows she has to do it, but honestly she’s a bit of a baby when it comes to pain. As if reading her mind, Ashley swoops in.

“Let me help.” So, Sam hands her the wipes and only flinches a little as she cleans it out. He hands are gentle and Sam can see her biting her lip in the mirror.

“So Josh did that?” Emily confirms. Sam meets her eyes, which are daring her to look away. She feels her chest tighten up again, but doesn’t back down. She feels Ashley gently lay a layer of gaze on her neck.

“Yeah, he got hungry, and Chris was teasing him, and I just happened to be there,” she explains. It feels a bit like when she was in middle school, and had to explain to her mom that she wasn’t getting in trouble on purpose, she just happened to be nearby when Josh and Chris were causing it.

“When I get hungry I eat a protein bar,” Emily remarks. Ashley tapes the gauze in place.

“Em,” she warns.

“I’m just saying,”  Emily says dismissively. Ashley looks away under the force of her gaze.

“Well, it should get better,” Sam says. But she can see the way Ashley and Emily are having a silent conversation in the mirror. They don’t look so hopeful.

Sam takes her pile of clothes from the diaper changing station and disappears into one of the stalls. She has to believe it’s true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my dog is ok! :)  
> I really liked this chapter a lot! I'm excited to have some more of the group together again, and I love to write Emily! A Chris chapter is next, detailing what's happening outside while the girls are inside.  
> Please please please leave a comment if you like reading this story! I live fore your feedback!  
> Thanks for reading<3


	8. Chapter 8

_So pray for me brother_  
_I need redemption_  
_I'm just a man_  
_A man on a mission_  
_I want no trouble_

_-Trouble By Imagine Dragons_

* * *

 

Josh lunges forward, dangerously rocking the truck. 

“Jesus Christ,” Mike yelps. They hit the ground, Mike only barely escaping having his head smashed into the pavement.

“Josh!” Chris yells. He clambers out after him. 

Josh is growling, his claws digging into Mike’s chest, and he’s gnashing his teeth above his face.

“Easy man,” Mike says. His eyes are wide, but his voice doesn’t shake. 

“Do you feel a bit of pain right now,” Josh mocks in Mike’s voice. Chris shutters, remembering how Mike had pinned him in the snow, blaming him for Jessica’s apparent death.

“Josh, cut it out. He’s here to help.” He grabs his shoulder, to try and pull him off. 

“Come on Chris,” Josh snarls, head whipping around. Chris scrambles back just in time, narrowly avoiding losing a finger to Josh’s teeth.

“You know me better than that,” he continues, still imitating Mike’s words from the shed. He watches Chris, but leans further on Mike’s chest, claws digging in. 

“Yeah, I do know you better,” Chris admits. He looks at Mike, who has started to wheeze, and starts to ease his way closer.

“No,” Josh shakes his head, “you just think I’m a fucked up son of a bitch!” Mike flinches. 

“Josh!” Chris lunges forward, catching him off guard. Josh is sturdier than he used to be, but the force of the hit is enough to knock him off Mike’s chest. Josh shrieks loud enough, that Chris’s ears ring.

“It’s his fault, I trusted him and he left me there! In the shed, underground. I was so hungry, I’m so hungry.” Josh thrashes, shaking him hard enough his arms hurt from the effort it takes to hold on. He’s lucky Josh is so sluggish from the meds, because otherwise he’d be able to break free no problem.

“Josh you’re safe now,” he insists. Josh growls, babbling something about a lake and Hannah and the mines and the stranger’s body. 

Mike groans from beside them.

“Holy fuck, he packs a punch.” Chris shrugs and Josh bucks from underneath him.

“You could say that,” he says dryly, “did you really leave him there?”

“I thought it had eaten him,” Mike says. He’s sitting up now, but hasn’t moved any closer.

“You’ll wish she had eaten you!” Josh spits out. 

“Hey!” Mike protests.

“Ok well, we’re here now and no one has been or is going to be eaten,” Chris says. Josh scowls at him, and tries to jerk free again.  The way the transformation has ripped through Josh’s cheek and sharpened his teeth makes the childish actions much more frightening than they should be. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know this would happen, I didn’t want this to happen,” Mike says. 

“Do you even have a brain or do you just think with you dick?” Josh asks, adopting Emily’s mocking tone. Mike’s face twists, torn between anger and hurt. 

“Josh, can you please chill the fuck out,” Chris snaps. Josh growls back, but stops trying to break free. He swallows down the pit of fear growing in his stomach to glare back at him. He can hear Mike shift nervously. 

“Now, we’re going to eat and then get changed. Because I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend the next eighteen hours in these clothes. They’re gross, because you’re gross.” He tells Josh.

“Eat?” Josh perks up, immediately taking a whiff of the air. Chris scrambles back, not want to be within biting distance if Josh decides not wait until they give him more appropriate food. Both him and Sam have been snapped at more than once over the past couple of days. 

“Yeah,” he confirms.

“I’m not on the menu, right?” Mike whispers, still staring warily at Josh.

“Shut up,” Chris sighs. 

He sends Mike to get the meat out of the back of the truck, not trusting them to be alone with one another. He’s trying to coax Josh back into the cabin, every part of him is hyper aware that anyone could choose to stop at the rest stop at any time, when the girls come from back out the building. There is no stopping Josh once he spots Sam. 

“Oh god dammit,” he shouts, as Josh launches himself forward. Ashley shrieks in fear, backpedaling until she trips into the bushes surrounding the building. Emily just looks mildly horrified when he scoops Sam up easily, as if he hasn’t seen her in months instead of just fifteen minutes. Chris groans, rushing over to help Ashley up.

“Josh, you can’t be out here,” Sam tells him sternly. 

“Sorry, Sammy bird.”

“You ok?” Chris asks Ashley. He crouches beside her and offers her his hand. Behind him Sam coaxes Josh into putting her down while Emily sighs irritably. 

“Jesus fuck, I thought,” Ashley gasps. She takes his hand, grip hard enough to hurt. Her breathing is shaky as she tries to form a coherent sentence. 

“Deep breath in, and count to five,” he coaches. She nods, and does that a couple times. Chris feels her grip loosen, but he doesn’t let her hand go. 

“Better?” 

“Yeah, thanks, I just...thanks,” she gives him a small smile. 

“I’m a regular knight in shining armor,” he says. She rolls her eyes at him.

“A modern day hero,” she agrees sarcastically. He laughs, relief flooding through him. 

“It’s true, just ask Mike, I just saved his life!” He stands up, tugging her after him. 

“From what?” Ashley asks, nose wrinkling in disbelief. He leads her closer to the truck, where Sam is handing Josh strips of cheap beef, that he barely chews as he gulps it down and Mike watches warely from the truck bed. 

“From Josh of course!” 

Chris guesses that was the wrong thing to say because Ashley freezes, hand jerking out of his. And he thought things were going so well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so hard! Chris was not cooperrating!!!! Sam again next for sure! I'm gearing up for a Josh chapter and I am excited!!!!!!   
> Let me know if you want to hear from anyone else and please comment!  
> Thanks so much for reading<3


	9. Chapter 9

_If_ _I_ _could_ _face_ _them_  
 _If_ _I_ _could_ _make_ _amends_  
 _With_ _all_ _my_ _shadows_  
 _I'd_ _bow_ _my_ _head_  
 _And_ _welcome_ _them_

_\- I of the Storm by Of Monsters and Men_  

* * *

 

The sun is setting as they cross from Oregon and into California.

 

Sam absentmindedly runs her hand through Josh’s hair, ignoring the twinge of disgust she feels when they come back out greasy. She can feel his heartbeat against her thigh, slower than normal but still there. It comforts her in a way she can’t explain. As long as he has pulse he’s still alive, he’s still a person, he’s still her Josh. 

 

He’s sprawled across her’s and Mike’s laps. His arms are wrapped around her middle and his feet kick Mike into silence everytime he snores. Up front, Chris chatters at Ashley, who sits rigidly in the chair. Emily had opted to drive her car back alone. 

 

“No offense, but you all reek of dead animal and I don’t want to spend anymore time with Mr. Hero Complex than I have to, I don’t need saving” she had declared, before slamming her door shut. Sam watches her shiny black Volvo keeping pace a few cars ahead of them through the window.

 

Josh stretches, mumbling something, his speech even more slurred than usual, and his feet dig themselves into Mike’s side. Sam watches him carefully, but he only groans, and pushes the offending limbs away. 

 

“Sammy.” She jerks, and then meets his eyes. Josh’s eyes had never been vividly green, always leaning towards more of a hazel. Now the one is clouded, like a cataract had grown over it. 

 

“Hey there,” she replies. A small smile creeps over her face at his answering grin. Even with his mouth slashed open, Josh looks charming. 

 

“We are we headed, Sammy-bird?” He chirps, mimicking the mountain’s bird calls perfectly. Sam’s eyes flicker over to Ashley, who shudders so violently the seat moves, before going back to Josh. 

 

“Home?” She’s unsure of how aware he is of what’s going on. He hasn’t eaten for at least six hours, so it’s been six hours since his last dose of sleep meds.

 

“The lodge?” He stretches again, releasing her and sending his feet once again into Mike’s side. This time Mike wakes up, blinking blearily, he scowls at Josh.

 

“No, to California,” Sam corrects him, “to your parents.” Josh giggles, a startling imitation of Beth’s. She resists the urge to look over at Ashley, who is bound to be having a small fit in the front seat.

 

“Silly Sammy, my parents don’t want to see me,” he says, sounding exactly like Hannah when she was in one of her more self deprecating moods. 

 

“Of course they do,” she insists. She leaves out the part where he's all they have left. 

 

“Besides, bro, we want you home,” Chris chimes in. Josh smiles broadly again.

 

“Cochiseeeeeee” He leans forward. Mike lets out an angry “Josh!” When his feet dig into his chest. Chris, to his credit, doesn’t cringe when Josh nuzzles the side of his face, but does push him away.

 

“I’m trying to drive.” Josh falls back into the seat, pouting.

 

Sam laughs, and eventually Josh joins her. even Ashley lets out an almost hysterical giggle. The mood in the car lightens. 

 

She rests her head against the window, letting the moment ease the strain she feels on her chest. It’s for things like this, she reminds herself, that they brought him back for. 

 

——————-

 

The Washington mansion is located in a town two hours outside of the LA area, in a neighborhood full of houses of an equal caliber. Sam hadn’t felt this nervous about being there since she was a freshman in high school. 

 

Ashley’s van, while not a pile of junk, was a far cry from Emily’s high-end car. It had been a familiar sight in the neighborhood when the group was in high school, but now Sam can almost feel the judgment from the pristine houses and lawns. They weren’t welcome here anymore, not after what happened.

 

Emily does the talking to get them through the gate, and Ashley follows her up the driveway. From beside her, Josh grumbles. He’s half asleep, his head on her shoulder. She waits until they’re parked to try and stir him. 

 

“Hey, time to get up.”

 

“Mmm, it’s too bright,” he grumbles. Ashley silently hands her the pack of baby wipes they had picked up at the last rest stop.

 

“Its three in the afternoon.” She rips the package open, and wipes carefully around his torn cheek. They all watch him warily, collectively holding their breath, and waiting for him to make a move. His teeth poke through the edges, making her stomach churn.

 

“Bright,” he whines. the movement causes them to grate at the crusted skin, breaking some open, fresh blood trickles down. From outside, she can hear Emily fighting a losing battle with the Washingtons. She just hopes that maybe she can keep them away just a little longer.

 

“That's not unusual for California,” she assures him, trying not to sound strained.

 

“Make it stop,” he says, batting her hand away. It hurts more than it should for such a slow tap, and she winces.

 

“Josh!” 

 

“Shit,” Chris hisses. He bolts, slamming the door shut behind him.

 

“Cochise?” Josh asks, and finally his eyes blink open, and blearily meet hers.

 

“Morning sunshine,” Mike chimes, “it’s almost showtime.” 

 

“What?” Josh turns to look at him. It's been awhile since they’ve fed him, and while she doesn’t know how lucid he is, she knows he’s not as tired anymore.

 

“Sam!” Ashley gasps, as Mike goes pale. Several things happen at once. the van door rips open pouring light into the back seat. Josh lets out an unearthly shriek, violently shoving himself back. Mikes head hits the other door with a crack and Ashley screams. Sam twists around putting herself between the exit and Josh’s parents. She winces when Josh shrieks again, barely grazing her side with an ill aimed kicked.

 

“Hey, Bob, Melinda,” she greets them, voice winded. She can already feel the bruise blooming on her rib cage. Her eyes dart over to Chris, who looks horrified, then to Emily, who looks irritated. She can hear Ashley hyperventilating in the passenger seat as Mike groans. 

 

“Samantha,” Bob replies, an edge in his voice. He goes to peer behind her, and his wife trembles by his side.

 

“Josh?” She asks. Josh imitates a giggle, his and Hannah’s and Beth’s. They tumble over each other, sounding just like they used too whenever they were planning something mischievous for their parents.

 

Sam feels her heart clench as she watches the way Melinda’s face crumples, and how Bob looks like someone has hit him.

 

“It’s just Josh,” she tells them, “and he’s well…” Tears prick at her eyes. She doesn’t know what to tell them about their oldest child and only surviving child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooof, sorry for the wait guys, school has been kicking my butt. I also waffled on how fast I actually wanted to get Josh home! Frankly though I’m much too excited to write his chapter and he’s up next!!!!!!
> 
> Also shoutout to Placebo_gazebo, who keft a comment on pretty much every chapter yesterday <3 I pushed through to finish for you!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading guys and please comment, they really are motivating!


	10. Chapter 10

_I_ _hold_ _my_ _tongue_ _use_ _it_ _to_ _assess_ ,   
_The_ _damage_ _from_ _way_ _back_ _when_ _it_ _mattered_ ,   
_But_ _nothing_ _seems_ _important_ _anymore_ ,   
_We’re_ _just_ _protecting_ _ourselves_ _from_ _our_ _self_

\- _One_ - _Eighty_ _By_ _Summer_ _by_ _Taking_ _Back_ _Sunday_  

* * *

 

Everything is very loud, and blindingly bright. His head swims, and he tastes copper on his tongue. He can feel the satisfaction of bones crunching between his teeth. It’s so bright. He’s tired and this place is so small and don’t they ever turn off that beeping machine. His hands hurt when the plastic splinters, but the iron smell is tempting and the wounds taste so good. Everything is white, he doesn’t know what time it is. He can smell the damp water in the mines, see his sisters’ rotting corpses, as they talk in unison. Something is in his food, it’s hard and tiny and he swallows it anyways he’s so hungry. Starving. Something smells divine. There’s a noise like nails on a chalkboard being pumped through stadium speakers, and he doesn’t realize it’s him until the noise stop. His head hurts, wasn’t he in a car? In the woods? Sam was there, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy-Bird. And Chris? The others. His head throbs again, there are tubes in his wrist, and the travel up to a bag. He hears fabric tear. His food is warm and smells so good, even the crunchy bits don’t matter. His stomach gnaws at itself, it’s never enough. Sometimes there are voices, people screaming, yelling, arguing, talking in hushed whispers. He’s in a bed, it's still so bright, but getting better. He feels like he’s leaking all the time. His mouth aches, and hurts everywhere. His food is in a glass and they refuse to give him a straw. He spills the drink everywhere, noticing that even his trusty little hard bits have been softened in the mix. He only feels a little bad for trying to lick it from the tray. He’s tired, it hurts. He thinks he’s in a room, where was everyone? They were in Ashley’s van? Then light. It smells clean here, like bleach. The voices are murmuring again, but he thinks he sees people outside the door that they belong to. He’s hungry, he wants to eat, he needs to eat, he-

 

———-

 

Josh groans, and it sounds like a symphony of voices, people he knows like the back of his hand and some he has only briefly met. The hospital bed creaks when he moves, a very slow beep of a heart monitor in the background. His head throbs, and his cheek stretches weird when he moves his jaw.

 

“Shit!” The pain that causes shoots down his jaw, and he shrieks in surprise. The sound doesn’t echo in the room, but it still makes rocks him to his core. He remembers the water and Mike and Hannah’s tattoo stretched over the gray dead skin of a monster.

 

The room isn’t empty. Chris is sprawled out on a chair, looking cleaner than Josh remembers. The first or the second time though?

 

Josh shakes his head. The glasses are new, that he knows. They used to be gray, now they’re navy blue. He wonders if his eyesight is getting worse or if they broke. Did he break them? He growls in frustration, and the sound ripping from his chest, and vibrating his teeth. Another sear of pain has him back down on the bed.

 

Okay, so he’s just going to take stock. His entire head hurts, a pounding in his skull. His jaw is one constant ache, and moving it is like trying to rip his mouth open. Wait. He touches the side of his face gently, feeling the neat stitches in place there. 

 

Alright, it doesn’t hurt to move his limbs, but the bed seems kind of small. A late growth spurt? How long was he out if grew at least a couple inches. Another glance to Chris calms that thought, because he doesn’t look any older. 

 

He takes another deep breath, hissing through the pain. He’s in the hospital, maybe for awhile, if the way his stomach seems to be eating itself is any indication. 

 

He remembers the mountain, the pranks, the guns, the shed, the water, the monster. 

 

He remembers Sam and Chris, and the mines. Then it starts to get a little fuzzy. There was snow, and Ashley, he thinks he spent some time in her van. Mike was there at some point, and then… Then it was bright. 

 

His head throbs again, and something like an ache in his chest starts up. From beside him, Chris snores and shifts in the chair. The hospital door swings open.

 

“Mom,” he says, in a voice he can only describe as Hannah’s. His mother flinches, and tears fill her eyes.

 

“Josh.” She moves forward, and has her arms around him in a second, sobbing into his chest. He can’t get over how small she is, how his arms seem too wrap around her in ways that don’t match up with his memory. It unsettles him. 

 

“What’s going on?” He asks, and luckily his voice sounds like him. His mother just sobs again and tightens her hold around him.

 

“My little boy, we thought you might never come back.” Josh frowns. He had another episode then maybe, like the summer before the twins disappeared. It wouldn’t be surprising after the mountain, and the mines. 

 

“Mom, I’ve been in the hospital before,” he assures her. He doesn’t know what she knows about what happened. About the saws, the pigs, the gun, and being tied in the shed. about the shrieks from the water, like the one he had just made. 

 

His mother sniffles, finally leaning back, and meeting his eyes.

 

“How do you feel? Can you see okay? Does your mouth hurt too bad?” She looks over at the bag of fluids he’s hooked up to, assessing its contents. Josh knows better though, they don’t give people like him drugs on command.

 

“I can see fine?” He doesn’t mention that talking is like drilling nails into his jaw, and that the new skin in his stitches pulls painfully with each word.

 

“They weren’t sure if it would help, it wasn’t a usual cataract, and your heart rate…” she trails off, tears welling in her eyes again. Josh swallows his questions about cataracts, not wanting her to start crying again. He thinks he’s the only one who’s noticed Chris’s breathing has changed. 

 

“Well, I can see,” Josh assures her. She gives him a watery smile.

 

“I have to go get your father, he’s just downstairs. You’ll be ok for a minute, you don’t need me to grab a nurse?” 

 

“No mom, I’m fine.” Starving, in pain, very confused, but fine. 

 

“Ok I’ll be right back,” she promised. She took her time leaving, as if afraid he would pass out as soon as she took her eyes off of him. But eventually she made it out the door. 

 

“So, what the fuck is happening?” Josh asks. Chris sits up, but doesn’t meet his eyes. 

 

“How much do you remember?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JOSH! This is gonna be a long not bear with me.
> 
> Ok, so wendi-Josh has been “fixed”. All monster fucking jokes aside, I just can’t foresee integrating into regular society with a ripped face, pointy teeth. The eye was just a thing I figured they would do because they could. I assume the glazing of a wendigos eyes is similar to the clouding eyes get after death. I did a small amount of research into figuring out if that was like cataract because it looks like a cataract. I couldn’t really find anything so I ultimately decided that even of it wasn’t exactly like one, it still appeared to be a clouding of the lens in the eye so cataract surgery it is. I also am optimg for teeth implants or filing depending on the tooth, and whichever you find mor believable. he’s currently being given antipsychotics. I’m aware that in irl this would be way more complex and that there are stigmas and discrimination around psychosis disorders.
> 
> Some other things will be discussed in the story but I wanted to go over what I’m probably not going to cover. If you have any questions feel free to ask!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, please leave a comment! We’ll probably be either Sam or Josh again next!


	11. Chapter 11

_What will it take_   
_to make you admit that you were wrong?_   
_Was his demise so carefully constructed?_   
_Well let's just say I got what I wanted_   
_Cause in the end it’s always the same_

_-Timberwolves At New Jersey by Taking Back Sunday_

* * *

 

Emily glares at Josh from the door. Chris had stormed out about a half hour earlier, but he’s still just as angry as when he had been here.

 

“You look less like deranged cannibal,” she comments. Her tone is biting,

 

“Keep talking and we can fix that,” he snaps. He still constantly feels like he’s starving and he’s not sure he would feel guilty about eating Emily of all people.

 

Emily tilts her head up, her glare taking on an edge of disgust. They used to be the same height, but Josh is pretty sure he now has at least half a foot on her. It would be easy to grab her, like breaking toothpick.

 

The siding on the bed snaps under his hand. the sound is becoming very familiar to him, he’s broken at least four since he’s woken up.

 

“Watch it Washington, those aren’t cheap.”

 

“Isn’t this supposed to be a private hospital? Why do they keep letting you people in here?”

 

“I’m sorry, whose private hospital do you think you’re in?”

 

“Oh for the love of god!” He lets out a shriek, and relishes the way it makes the door rattle and Emily wince. Chris may not react to his monstrous qualities but it’s good to know someone does.

 

A quiet settles in the room, only broken by his heart monitor and Emily’s harsh breathing.

 

“You’re such..a fucking... dick,” she finally bites out.

 

“You’re one to talk,” he shoots back. He can be lectured by Chris, but he won’t take it from Emily.

 

“We’re not talking about me! contrary to popular belief I’m aware the world doesn’t revolve around my head!” She takes another couple gasps. Josh is dimly aware that she’s fighting off a panic attack, one that he’s caused. He’s just not sure whether he cares enough about it.

 

Finally, her breathing slows, and she’s no longer sucking down air. This hasn’t changed her attitude, If anything, she only manages to look more furious.

 

“What did you do to Chris?” She asks, voice deceptively calm. He feels taken aback. What does that have to do with anything?

 

“Nothing, it's none of your business, you don’t even like Chris!” He doesn’t like it when he and Chris argue. It’s not common and it’s never been this bad. He just, he’s so hungry, he can barely keep it together. They should have left him there. They should leave him here.

 

“Of course it’s my business! I cleaned Sam’s bite, I brought you clothes, I talked to your parents, and this is my family’s hospital! This makes it my business!” She comes closer, stalking towards the bed. He scrambles back, worried that if she gets too close he won’t be able to resist.

 

“Emily, everything fucking hurts right now. And if you come any closer I’ll -” His heart is beating much too hard, it sounds almost normal on the machine. There’s a roaring in his ears, and his stomach twists, his mouth throbs, and he’s hungry. She smells good, a beating heart, and bright eyes.

 

“You’ll what? I’ve already been bitten, and you don’t have the teeth for it.” She tugs her shirt to the side.

 

The sight makes him freeze. The scar is red, and angry looking. It’s not even a year old and it shows from the way the skin puckers, and pulls at the edges. There is no discernable teeth mark, wendigo teeth are jagged and sharp. This looks more like a tear, with a chunk of flesh missing. A flash of memory hit him, of Sam, and blood and snow. His stomach lurches again. He wants to eat and vomit at the same time. The bed cracks again, and his claws dig into palms.

 

“I-”

 

“Stop breaking the bed,” she hisses. The room goes quiet again, his heart monitor slowing into its usual rhythm. He doesn’t move from his perch, backed against the bed, and Emily doesn’t come any closer. He feels grounded again, all of the anger drained out of him, leaving despair in its wake. He’s a monster, he wants to eat people, he did that to Sam.

 

“I- I’m sorry,” he croaks. She snorts.

 

“You didn’t do anything to me.”

 

“But it’s my fault that-”

 

“Listen,” she cuts him off. She no longer sounds like she’s trying to flay him alive with words alone, but her tone offers no argument, “You didn’t cause the wendigos to appear on the mountain. You did not chase after me with a flamethrower, you did not let me fall from a firetower and you did not threaten to kick me out of the safe house. Those monsters and what they did to us, are not your fault.”

 

“I’m the reason you were up on the mountain,” he says.

 

“And Jess and I are the reason Beth ran out into the snow. I didn’t kill Beth, you didn’t traumatize me.” She juts her chin out again, as if daring him to contradict her.

 

Josh stares at her, as if seeing her for the first time. In his grief, and his loss, he couldn’t see it. When he had stopped taking his meds, things had blurred. The prank seemed ingenious, his best friend would get the girl, he would scare the shit out of the people who deserved it, the thing with Sam. It’s always been a bit muddled with Sam. But it was all that mattered. Time had passed in a haze, a solid month in the lodge. It had been dark, dirty, and cold. He had spent so much time outside. He had spent none of it with them. Emily doesn’t look guilty, she looks tired. Beth had been her friend. Arguably, she had spent more time with her then with him the last few years of her life.

 

Emily believed in his innocence as strongly as she believed in hers.

 

“I’m sorry I broke the bed,” he says.

 

“Then stop breaking the beds,” she responds.

 

He sags, sliding down the sheets. Maybe it could be that easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emily Emily Emily!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> I honestly don't think Emily is as ready to blame Josh as she is like ready to fight Mike in an empty parking lot so hence this conversation. I also wanted to smooth this over some. 
> 
> Sam next, but I don't think they'll be in the same room just yet. Don't worry, we'll get there.
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think! :)


End file.
